Dear, oh dear.

I do believe the controversial article was meant to provoke certain people. I am, of course, not at all connected to  any side of the argument. However, I believe the people who are meant to be upset about this are the kind of people who are, ah, generous with their anger. They tend to spread it around to as many people as possible.

In light of this, Borgin and Burkes will be closed and covered in protective charms indefinitely. Please finish your shopping by 3:00 pm this afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. And may we remind you to bar your doors and lock your windows. Just in case. Mister Borgin and I have no wish to become heroes.

Attention, walking money bags customers,

As of last week, the following items have been sold out. That means there are no more supplies of the following items. Kindly refer to this list, or the list in front of the store, or the list on the store counter for you are a thick lot that need to have your heads drilled:

-- Fillbuster's healing potion
-- Madame Harkin's special ultra premium healing potion
-- Ceres brand healing potion
-- Moon Bear bile (for mild to nasty poisons)
-- Counter hex / curse charms
-- Inferi Away cream
-- Foe glass of any kind,  size, or make
-- Dragon scale amulets (allows wearer to see past  Polyjuice disguises)
-- Amortentia
-- Toads' feet (guards against the Imperious Curse)
-- Werewolf paws (guards against the Cruciatus Curse)
-- Rabbits' feet (for good luck) I cannot believe we are selling this rubbish, Mister Borgin.

The Management here at Borgin and Burkes can not be certain when we will be carrying said items again, times as as they are and importers hesitant to bring any kind of products into the country as long as it is still in this state of war. We can not fully express how truly sorry we are to not accept your money. The moment we have any of the said items in stock again, we can assure our valued customers that they will be immediately on sale at 300% profit for Borgin and Burkes does not condone hoarding of goods in order to jack up prices in times of war. It's simply unethical.

In the meantime, it is advised that customers refrain from getting themselves hurt, burned, hexed, cursed or killed.


This should have been your job, Ingrid.

Ingrid? I don't believe it. My dear, beautiful sister. Dead. And with very little explanation! Who could have done such a thing?

She had no enemies She had an insignificant number of enemies. From the lower classes, of course, so they are hardly of any consequence. Certainly, they wouldn't dare to raise a hand to her. Ingrid knows knew very well how to take care of herself.

Didn't I tell you not to leave the country? Just because you're pining for a dead man doesn't excuse your absence from the shop.

Didn't I tell you to be careful of the friends you make? Where are they now, these De Didn't I tell you to make a last will and testament this early on, especially when we live in uncertain times?

What should I tell Mother? How shall we divide your property?

The authorities informed us that it is impossible to have an open-casket wake. There might not even be enough to have a casket at all, said this crude fellow in the Ministry. All they can give us is a tiny urn and a newspaper clipping of your death.

You should have listened to me, Ingrid.

Current Mood: crushed

Absolutely dreadful. Mister Borgin had the misfortune of opening the shop today. That's when he made his 'discovery'.

Poor Mister Borgin had to be fetched by his wife. All shaken and white, he was. He insisted that I go outside and see the child, but there was no child there. Instead there was, for lack of a better term, meat. Littered around with small child-clothes. I have dutifully summoned the authorities and have been informed that the front of the shop is now a crime scene and shall be closed off until the investigations are over. Until then, we shall just have to lose money, shall we?

I still can not believe some of the news the Daily Prophet reports. I happen to know some of these young men and women that the newspapers call Death Eaters. I am not, of course,  affiliated with them. They just happen to pass by the shop once in a while, and we never turn away customers in Borgin and Burkes. They are all rather polite, well-tempered young adults. Very mature in their political views. Never violent. That is why I find the gruesome stories of their so-called crimes so hard to swallow.

Personally, I would feel better if aurors turn their investigations to this Order of muggleborns. If we carry on like this, even the squibs will start clamoring for equal rights.

I had a charming chat with the Chinese gentleman responsible for bringing in cheap quaffle balls into the market. Interestingly, said quaffles have the tendency to burst into giant technicolored fireworks when thrown too hard, but I dare say the Quidditch spectators will enjoy its entertainment value. All that is needed is to railroad persuade the Department of Magical Sports to pass the quaffles through their quality control and we will see a new generation of Quidditch players and lovers. Not to mention twenty percent of the profit goes to Borgin and Burkes. England prevails.

Now. This chat with the Chinese gentleman. Despite his accent, I have gathered a few things:

1. He blames the English for stealing tea crops from China and planting it on our soil, thus giving birth to the traditional British past time of slacking off work.

2. He believes that the way we drink tea is utterly barbaric, the way we add milk and sugar in it. He says tea should be consumed with hot water as is.

Being nothing but a patriot, I felt the need to defend Her Majesty's land. We are a proud people and we drink tea. I said to the Chinese gentleman, I said, Good sir, what you do not understand is why we encourage our countrymen to drink tea in this most barbaric way. We need to put sugar in our tea. We need cheap calories for our working class, to make sure they continue working at all hours. It is cheaper than opium for certain, and has less backlash in the long run. Besides, we import our sugar direct from the Pacific, so our barbaric national past time does fuel your rice patties and drug dens.

Isn't the free market a wonderful thing?

Thank you, arsonists responsible for the Olivanders fire. I'm sure there were perfectly logical reasons for wanting to burn down one of the most respected and recognizable establishments in Diagon Alley. This could have been the work of those crazed tree hugger hippies who can't stand Olivanders plucking tail hairs and feathers from whatever animal-- I wouldn't know.

I hope some of you realize that you have burned down the biggest supplier of wands to the whole of the British Isles. I can only hope Mister Olivanders is alive and well somewhere, but for the meantime we will be completely at the mercy of expensive foreign imports. Those will tripple in price, I'm certain.

Meanwhile, the entire British wizarding economy is crippled. Stocks have pummeledby 30 points, with a possible recession looming in the horizon. And all land-based properties in an along the area of Diagon Alley are down in prices.

Well done, lads. 

I hope the Ministry sends Gringotts proper instructions about this. We don't want a depression in our hands. Someone tell the goblins to cut interest rates, help the economy along.

HELP WANTED

Borgin and Burkes specialty store for discerning customers is in need of a Shop Clerk. Must have finished at least fifth year in any Wizarding school, with no less than three satisfactory O.W.L. marks. Shop Clerk duties include attending to Borgin and Burkes customers, running minor errands, and the occational lifting of heavy boxes. Pay is 8 galleons a week (NON NEGOTIABLE), exclusive of board and lodging. Interested parties should pass by the Borgin and Burkes store in Knockturn Alley during store hours for a personal interview.

Squibs and mudbloods need not apply.